recently i’ve been a little dissatisfied with life. i’m confused. i’m uncertain. i’m not sure with many things. right now i just can’t wait to ord. but what’s next? as a singaporean, life’s pretty much mapped up since birth. kindergarten, primary and secondary school, jc/poly/ite, ns for guys, and then it’s work or uni for the more blessed (and/or hardworking) ones. blame it on the system, most of us have not put much thoughts into what we want to do, we don’t have a solid aspiration, we’re not taught to have opinions, we just follow the flow and hope for the best. as such, we need instructions in everything we do; yes we’re capable of doing a good job through perseverance, determination and being organized but at the same time we’re not creative, we're not original, and we don’t know what we want.

sometimes i think i’m being silly for not chao geng-ing through ns. heck so many of my friends breeze through ns and why the hell am i suffering in this camp? it’s so unfair. ns for some of them simply means a desk bound job air-con 8-5 mondays-fridays reading the straits times and flirting on facebook, and for the more hardworking ones, enroll into sim so that they can complete their degrees and ns in two years. sale sale! we all love short cuts don’t we?

get to go home everyday. freedom. you can even make money from doing guard duties and flag raising/lowering ceremony for your friends! or choose to work part time at night, like i did while i was in ngee ann. they paid me so well i could afford my own ride, a citroen c5 3.0! unbelieveable, what i’m missing out.

having said all that, i’m grateful for what ns have put me through, though it can really be a waste of time from a personal and selfish point of view. but i’ll always treasure the times and memories i shared with my platoon, the excruciating experience in brunei and the famed guards’ conversion course, just to name a few. next we’re looking at some long outfields on local soil, before we embark on our last overseas training at wallaby. may it be as memorable for all of us.

as you can see i’ve a love and hate relationship with my vocation. but all this will come to pass some seven months later, and i’ll be grasping my rightful freedom with both my hands. so, what’s next?

i’ll really love to have my own apartment, fully done up, something that i can be proud of, something i’ll love returning to after a long day of work. perhaps a four-roomer at rochor or lavender gardens, and a nice car to go along, a mazda 6 or a honda civic.

come back to reality, benson!

sigh.

so i’ll need to work hard, like all of you. eeyur i hate that! i should have some unfair advantage, i’m benson, you know. no, nothing extra for me. i think most likely i’ll go work at m1 as a sales consultant after ord and then start my marketing degree at a ripe age of 27, probably? so latest by 30, i’ll have a degree to my name! aiyo, quite old leh. and in the meantime, hopefully i’ll net a pretty and cute girl as my life companion, someone as wonderfully and beautifully created as me. hahaha.

i still cannot get over the fact that i could have graduated with a marketing degree when i receive my pink ic. damn.

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the more interesting reads, apart from mine.

the past, etched into my heart

♥ March 2008
♥ April 2008
♥ May 2008
♥ June 2008
♥ July 2008
♥ August 2008
♥ September 2008
♥ October 2008
♥ November 2008
♥ December 2008
♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009

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